Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Have to Suck…If You’re Single

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that’s become something like a Black Friday at Walmart: a day on which advertisers coerce people into spending lots of money. It’s a day when coupled men and women often feel pressured to do something big – reservations at a fancy restaurant, picking up boatloads of chocolates and flowers, and the list goes on. I find that couples often do it up in high style, but don’t necessarily enjoy themselves any more than they would on any other day that they show – and get – a little appreciation from the one they love.

Yet what about Valentine’s Day for single men and women? If you’re single, my hope is that you don’t let this consumption/advertising-driven holiday get you down. That said, achieving such an above-it-all attitude is difficult when every single person you see on the street asks, “So what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”

If you’re single and you are, like most human beings, susceptible to feeling a little down or lonely on a day when you’re made to feel that everyone else in the world is in love except you, you’ve got to make your own Valentine’s Day party. Grab a group of friends for happy hour at one of your favorite bars or restaurants, go on a mini-shopping spree where you treat yourself to something special, or book a massage or another procedure that makes you feel good and reminds you that you know how to take of yourself.

I hate that Valentine’s Day often makes single people feel bad or left out. True, finding a good relationship is one the best things that life has to offer, but there is more to life and the world around you than coupledom. After all, it’s loneliness and feeling left out that drives so many people into relationships in the first place. And, if you rush it or you enter that relationship out of anxiety, odds are that it won’t last.

In the end, remember that Valentine’s Day is like any other day: it means what you decide it means. If you’re single, make this day fun and soothing for you…because you deserve it!

PLUS: In Dr. Seth's new book, Dr. Seth's Love Prescription (available at Amazon.com or in stores at Borders and Barnes and Noble), he shows you how to stop repeating bad patterns in your romantic relationships. If you or someone you know keeps going for the wrong types of people and seems stuck in this vicious cycle, pick up a copy of Dr. Seth's Love Prescription today.

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