Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Monday, August 31, 2015

Spotlight on Amazing Facilities: Hilltop's Life Adjustment Program

This past weekend I attended the special family weekend at Hilltop's Life Adjustment Program, a residential treatment facility for survivors of traumatic brain injuries in Grand Junction, Colorado. The staff went over the top in preparing for the event for the residents and their families: barbecues and brunches, activities for kids, and a band and dancing under the stars on Saturday evening. Our dear Barbara, a true music lover, managed to climb out of her wheelchair with the help of a few family members and dance a bit herself.

The dedication of the beloved staff was inspiring. It made me think of how some professions benefit from astonishing salaries - say, bankers and hedge funders, or attorneys winning major cases - while scores of professionals across the country do the most important work of all but don't reap a similar financial benefit. What's interesting is that many professionals in the helping professions aren't so money-motivated and actually feel motivated by a tremendous sense of purpose: helping others. Hats off to the devoted men and women who care for these deserving survivors!

Sunday, August 16, 2015

DR. SETH'S BOOKSHELF: All Fall Down by Jennifer Weiner

I have to be honest: It was a struggle to finish this book. I had never read anything by Weiner before and figured I would give one of her books a try. I won't be reading another one of her books. All Fall Down chronicles the journey into pill addiction for main character Allison, a character who was superficially drawn. Weiner never let us understand what really drove this woman psychologically to addiction, and who she was before her addiction. 
There are so many good books about addiction. I actually think a good memoir by an addict is much more interesting than a novel about an addict, and I'm not sure that a non-addict - like Weiner - can write addiction as well as someone who lives the experience.

I find that Weiner writes in an overly sentimental style, and her real-life fascination (and live-tweeting) of the show The Bachelor suggests that she is drawn to social conventions more than she would like to believe. After all, she describes herself as a feminist, but I'm not sure that you can be a feminist and follow The Bachelor. I could be wrong, though, because I've certainly been wrong before. 

One bit of praise I have to acknowledge is Weiner's amazing vocabulary and her dexterous application of uncommon uses of words. I found myself thinking, Wow, this woman really earned her Princeton education!

Monday, August 10, 2015

On Love: Can You Truly Love Two Romantic Partners at the Same Time?

A true sociopath can love two romantic partners at the same time, but most sociopaths will be lying, manipulating and hiding one of those partners from the other. Can your average person love two people at the same time? Think about how most people find it difficult to date more than one person at a time! Most of us couldn't - or wouldn't - love two people at the very same time.

I find that some perfectly good (but escapist) people have gotten themselves into situations where they love different people for fairly predictable reasons, among them: his wife has been sick and he fell in love with someone else; she felt unappreciated by her husband and had an affair with someone from work; and he was struggling with a mid-life crisis and fell in love with a younger woman to get his groove back.

Think about your own life for a moment. Could you love two people at the same time?

Sunday, August 9, 2015

88% of Adults Are Sexting?

A new study suggests that it's far more than hormonal teens and young adults who are sending sexual texts or photos. Why do people sext? Because being sexual is a part of being human, and everyone can be impulsive - say, shoot off a sexual text - from time to time. Most importantly, I urge girls and young women to avoid sending sexts or sexual pictures because boys and men often end up showing the sexts or pics to their friends or, worse, the entire internet.

Check out the article here: http://cnn.it/1KWB2IC.

Long Distance Relationships: 5 Tips to Make It Work

Simply put, long distance relationships are challenging. Distance makes it difficult to sustain an emotional and physical connection with your partner. It can also bring out insecurities in one or both partners. For reasons such as these, the odds are truly stacked against those of you who go head to head with the one-eyed distance monster.

If you are going to give a long distance relationship a shot, try using the following techniques to ensure that your relationship has a decent chance at lasting.

Tip # 1: Tell your partner what your long-term goal is for the relationship, and ask him or her to share the same. Marriage? Living together? Living in the same city? Be clear from the beginning.

Tip # 2: Have a “Fears Discussion.” Tell your partner “I’m kind of afraid if we live apart for too long that you might…or that I might…” Again, ask your partner to share his or her fears. This is how intimacy develops.

Tip # 3: Set fixed times to communicate on the phone.

Tip # 4: Arrange a visiting schedule that will allow you to see each other regularly and stick to this schedule.

Tip # 5: Be honest if you start feeling disconnected from your partner, and ask your partner to share the same feelings if he or she has the same feelings – at that point or ever!

Again, these relationships aren’t easy, but nobody said that true love is a walk in the park. Arm yourself with good coping skills and you will be better off in the end - in your long distance relationship, as well as all of your other relationships in life.

PLUS: Check out my book, Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome if you keep dating the same bad-for-you type over and over again. I shed light on the four patterns that get repeated the most: saving wounded souls; focusing too much on a specific, physical type; fear of intimacy and denial; and getting involved with people who are physically, verbally, or psychologically abusive.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Daily Mental Health Tip

Remember that self-esteem comes from engaging in positive behaviors that make you feel better. What did you today that was healthful and made you feel good about yourself? Exercise? Eat a bunch of healthy foods? Take a relaxing bath or meditate for a few minutes? Practice good self-care on a daily basis and you will quickly see how your mood and self-esteem rises significantly!