Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Sunday, March 22, 2015

What Makes Good Sex So Good

Sex is always about emotions. "Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions." - Deepak Chopra

If you think about some of the good sex you’ve had, you were probably feeling extremely emotional at the time. For some people, good sex involves feeling deeply in love, while for others, it involves feeling wild, naughty, or even connecting with darker emotions surrounding dominance or submission fantasies. Regardless of which end of that spectrum your good sex would fall on, Deepak is right that all of these emotions signify emotional freedom. In other words, there is no one fixed way to have sex, so the consenting partners have a blank slate onto which they can create whatever they want. After a long week at work, the last thing anyone needs is one more experience in which they feel bored or unstimulated.

What Deepak says about bad sex is quite true, as well. If you think about some of the bad sex you’ve had, it’s probably because you were feeling emotionally disconnected, bored, or preoccupied. In other words, having an unsatisfying sexual experience suggests that you even though you were having sex, it’s not something that you truly wanted to do – it’s more like going through the motions.

In my practice with clients, I always encourage them to take their emotional temperature at the start of a sexual interaction. If you feel a little off that day and don’t really want to connect in that way with your partner, your date, whomever –make the conscious choice to not have sex.

How to Move On After a Breakup: 4 Counter-Intuitive Strategies


Breakups are awful, plain and simple. But as long you are strategic about what you do after the breakup, moving on can be a lot easier. Many strategies that work are actually counter-intuitive. Check out my full article for eHarmony, where I am one of their resident relationship experts. I hope you find the article helpful!

Full article: http://bit.ly/19Jqlff.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Dr. Seth On TV: Inside Edition


I was proud to be on Inside Edition today condemning the awful racist comments by a Univision TV host, comparing her appearance to a character from the Planet of the Apes film. He was fired after making the comments. More than ever, our society is taking a harsher stance against social intolerance.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Dr. Seth On TV: Nancy Grace


Check out Nancy Grace on HLN tonight when I'll be discussing the case of a woman who shot multiple shots from her rifle at the television when she felt frustrated that her kids were watching an inappropriate TV program. If you think I might have strong feelings on the subject, you're right. Watch Nancy and I go head to head this evening!

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Personality: What It Means When Your Date Is Rude to Waiters


Oh, this behavior is enough to push me over the edge! After all, who would ever be rude to a waiter? In my new article for eHarmony, I shine a light on this grotesque behavior. Check out the article here: http://bit.ly/1Lf8UjX.

Monday, February 9, 2015

How Money & Financial Stress Can Destroy Your Relationship


You’ve probably heard that money problems are one the most significant factors that can lead to divorce. Without doubt, differences in money management styles between two partners can ruin a marriage. In fact, you don’t even need to be married to fall victim to the powerful influence money problems can have on a relationship. You could have been cohabitating for years or have recently begun dating someone, but everyone’s relationship with money is quickly transparent. If you tend to be a little reckless with your money or a negligent financial planner, it is going to negatively affect your partner and the overall longevity of your relationship.

There’s no complicated algorithm to determine whether you are a bad money manager – there are simple signs that flash like neon lights in all the corners of your life.

• You are almost always worried about money.

• You have credit card debt even though you make a decent salary.

• You have a penchant for expensive things.

• You have at least one loan beyond a mortgage or a school loan.

• You have an expensive car but don’t yet own a home or condominium.

• Someone you love (probably your partner) has repeatedly expressed concern about the way you handle money.

If you have problems managing your money, you and your partner probably argue frequently about money. Added to this, a struggling economy only makes things worse. If you know that money management is a true problem, you must confront the issue head on immediately.

There are several behaviors you can engage in to improve your money management skills. First, take yourself to a local bookstore or search online for books that specifically focus on this subject. Second, it’s time to have a discussion with your partner and for you to make a vow to change your relationship with money. Third, create what I call a Financial Performance Improvement Plan. In this plan, identify two or three specific money problems, create a solution for each, and come up with a deadline by which the problems will be resolved. Again, be specific.

The final suggestion I have for handling money management problems in your relationship is to talk to other couples in your social circle about how they handle the same issues. I refer to this process as conducting interviews, because you essentially want to get answers and ideas from others that you can possibly apply to your own life and improve your circumstances as a result.

With true commitment and time spent making some changes, you can absolutely improve your money management skills and protect the longevity of your relationships all at once.

PLUS: Check out my book about how to stop repeating the same negative patterns in your relationships, Dr. Seth's Love Prescription, here: http://www.amazon.com/Dr-Seths-Love-Prescription-Relationship-ebook/dp/B004DI7FIK/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid=.