Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Single People: Learn to LIKE Dating

Too often I have clients in my practice who mourn the fact that dating can be such an awful experience. Without doubt, dating can cast you adrift in a sea of insecurities and make each and every one of us want to pull our hair out all at once.

It’s understandable enough – dating can be awkward and feel like a part-time job if you’re serious about finding a partner. Yet disliking dating too much can create a dangerous effect. If you hate dating and simply aren’t any good at seeing a couple of people at the same time, then you may be more likely to settle down with someone who is not a great match for you.

I encourage everyone single to practice dating. I always explain that dating is a numbers game – you may need to meet many people before finding a connection with a true click. Even though dating a couple of people at the same time brings up its own difficulties, it is important for you to know how to date. You must take things slowly with your dates and be honest about your intentions. In the end, this caution will act as an important insurance policy, insuring that you don’t jump in too quickly with the wrong person.

Again, if your relationships haven’t been working out, try it: stop falling in love and start dating. It might not feel fun to you now, but the more you practice dating, the easier and more comfortable it will be.

PLUS: Dr. Seth's new book, Dr. Seth's Love Prescription, is about repeating bad patterns in your relationships. Pre-order today at Amazon.com or find it in bookstores December 18!

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