Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Friday, December 19, 2008

Who Wears the Pants in Your Relationship?

If you’re in a relationship, answer this question by asking yourself a more specific question: who makes the decisions in your relationship?

In a long-term relationship, there are decisions big and small, decisions that relate to the kids (if you have them), the bills, the house, the social events, the vacations, and the list goes on ad nauseam. In most successful relationships, each member of the couple has learned to take certain departments and to make most of the decisions within that department.

Sometimes, however, one person ends up making decisions that the other would like more of a hand in – but doesn’t feel comfortable approaching the issue. A lot of people in relationships with what people call Type A personalities often feel steam rolled by their partners because the Type A personality needs to have a great sense of control over everything.

It’s very important to check in with your partner from time to time and ask them how they feel about this issue. Ask your partner what decisions he or she feels you control, and share your thoughts on the decisions you feel you make. Sometimes this exercise can lead to an extremely enlightening discussing. Over the long haul, taking inventory of issues in this way can be very healthy for your relationship so that resentments don’t snowball.

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