Relationship Repetition Syndrome & Your Toxic Relationship Pattern

Written by Seth Meyers, Psy.D.

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One of the most common problems I see in my practice is that people's romantic relationships so often fail because they are stuck repeating toxic relationship patterns. In other words, they seek out the same types of romantic partners again and again, even when those partners all exhibit the same traits that have doomed their relationships in the past. Take the quiz below to see whether you harbor this tendency, which I have termed "Relationship Repetition Syndrome" (RRS).

Answer the questions below with a simple "yes" or "no."

1. Do you feel like you are only sexually attracted to partners who are bad for you?
2. Have you found yourself in a relationship with someone who does the same kinds of things your last significant other did that hurt or bothered you?
3. Do your friends and families comment on your choosing the wrong partners and ask why you don't settle down with the right person?
4. Do your relationships tend to last a certain amount of time and then end after the same approximate length of time? For example, perhaps you've never made it past the one-year hurdle?
5. Have you ever fallen for someone by simply looking at or watching him or her, or decided you want to be with the person within the first few minutes of meeting?
6. If you're currently in a relationship, do you find yourself feeling the same kinds of negative feelings you felt in your last relationship, precipitated by the same kinds of situations?
7. Do you blame yourself or your partners for why things went wrong?
8. Do you sometimes feel like you lose yourself in your relationships?
9. Do you feel like you are cursed to have bad relationships and will never find ‘The One?'

If you answered "yes" to three or more of the questions above, you suffer from RRS. If you answered "yes" to two of the questions above, you suffer from some of the symptoms of RRS.

If your answers tell you that you are what I call a Relationship Repeater, fear not! I wrote a whole book about how to overcome it, called Dr. Seth's Love Prescription: Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve. Trust me, I try to make the process as fun as possible, and there might even be an exercise in it that asks you to try to figure out which Golden Girls character is most like you.

Seriously, though, there is help for you if you feel like you are stuck repeating the same old patterns and are ending up single and frustrated, again and again.

Feel free to explore my book on dysfunctional relationships, Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve