Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Saturday, October 6, 2012

PARENTING TOPIC: Using Positive Parenting for Bad Behavior

Positive parenting is all about instruction as opposed to punishment. In the past, we had an anything-goes attitude toward correcting bad behavior in children, but times have changed to the point that we're completely rethinking which consequences are best for poor behavior.

Briefly, research shows that phrasing your feedback to your child in a positive way - as opposed to a negative one - is better at eliciting the good behavior you really want. In other words, don't say things that are negative: Flip and make it positive.

For example, try not to say, "Don't do that!" or "Stop it!" Instead, be as clear as possible. Tell your child what you don't want them to do and follow it up - in an emotionally neutral tone, thankyouverymuch - with what you want them to do exactly. Here's how it works: "Stop standing on the coffe table and keep your feet on the floor." The most important point is to make sure that you've included the part about what you want them to do - not just what you don't want them to do.

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