Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Friday, September 14, 2012

Long Distance Relationships: 5 Steps to Make It Work!

Simply put, long distance relationships are challenging. Distance makes it difficult to sustain an emotional and physical connection with your partner. It can also bring out insecurities in one or both partners. For reasons such as these, the odds are truly stacked against those of you who go head to head with the one-eyed distance monster.

If you are going to give a long distance relationship a shot, try using the following techniques to ensure that your relationship has a decent chance at lasting.

Tip # 1: Tell your partner what your long-term goal is for the relationship, and ask him or her to share the same. Marriage? Living together? Living in the same city? Be clear from the beginning.

Tip # 2: Have a “Fears Discussion.” Tell your partner “I’m kind of afraid if we live apart for too long that you might…or that I might…” Again, ask your partner to share his or her fears. This is how intimacy develops.

Tip # 3: Set fixed times to communicate on the phone.

Tip # 4: Arrange a visiting schedule that will allow you to see each other regularly and stick to this schedule.

Tip # 5: Be honest if you start feeling disconnected from your partner, and ask your partner to share the same feelings if he or she has the same feelings – at that point or ever!

Again, these relationships aren’t easy, but nobody said that true love is a walk in the park. Arm yourself with good coping skills and you will be better off in the end - in your long distance relationship, as well as all of your other relationships in life.

PLUS: Check out my book, Dr. Seth's Love Prescription which shows you how to stop repeating bad patterns in your romantic relationships. I shed light on the four patterns that get repeated the most: saving wounded souls; focusing too much on a specific, physical type; fear of intimacy and denial; and getting involved with people who are physically, verbally, or psychologically abusive.

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