Saturday, May 5, 2012
When Everyone Is Breaking Up Around You
Well, it’s hard to tell yourself that you’ll be together forever when couples around you start dropping like flies. When couples close to you decide to call it quits, it can make you feel afraid – almost superstitious – that your relationship might show up at the pearly gates in the sky, as well. It can be sad to watch couples crumble around you, but you need to remind yourself of something I always tell my clients: If two people truly aren’t meant to be together, the relationship will end sooner or later. No matter how hard two people who don't belong together try, or how long they can stretch the duration of the relationship out, the underlying true incompatibility will always prevail.
When couples around you start breaking up, and you fear that the wicked alignment of the stars will somehow curse your romantic fate, consciously talk yourself down from the anxiety. If it makes you feel better, check in with your partner and share your fears, as superstitious as they may be. Having a taking-inventory conversation might help to alleviate your anxiety. Ask questions like, “Are you happy? Is there anything I’m doing that bothers you?” Say things like, “I want to be the best partner I can be to you.”
Though it may sound contrived or overly sentimental to process relationship dynamics in such a direct manner, such efforts on your part can make the difference between a couple that lasts and one that runs out of gas.