Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Saturday, May 5, 2012

When Everyone Is Breaking Up Around You

If you’re in a good relationship, you probably want to believe that the relationship you have will last forever. Of course, the reality is that most relationships don’t stand the test of time. You’re no fool, right? You know the odds of relationships lasting, but nevertheless tell yourself that your relationship might be one of the relationships that really lasts.

Well, it’s hard to tell yourself that you’ll be together forever when couples around you start dropping like flies. When couples close to you decide to call it quits, it can make you feel afraid – almost superstitious – that your relationship might show up at the pearly gates in the sky, as well. It can be sad to watch couples crumble around you, but you need to remind yourself of something I always tell my clients: If two people truly aren’t meant to be together, the relationship will end sooner or later. No matter how hard two people who don't belong together try, or how long they can stretch the duration of the relationship out, the underlying true incompatibility will always prevail.

When couples around you start breaking up, and you fear that the wicked alignment of the stars will somehow curse your romantic fate, consciously talk yourself down from the anxiety. If it makes you feel better, check in with your partner and share your fears, as superstitious as they may be. Having a taking-inventory conversation might help to alleviate your anxiety. Ask questions like, “Are you happy? Is there anything I’m doing that bothers you?” Say things like, “I want to be the best partner I can be to you.”

Though it may sound contrived or overly sentimental to process relationship dynamics in such a direct manner, such efforts on your part can make the difference between a couple that lasts and one that runs out of gas.

1 comment:

Marta Jałocha said...

My boyfriend broke up with me after years of dating. Things were relatively Ok, but for the past 6 months or so, he’d been acting kind of snippy and oddly sarcastic (I say “oddly” because we’re both kind of sarcastic people. It was just different, like bitter sarcasm). Suddenly he broke up with me. I need to get him back. My friend adviced me using love spell. I entered the website http://magical-rituals.com and order the most powerful love spell. And I don’t regretted. My lover back to me.