Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Thursday, July 14, 2011

GUEST BLOGGER Sarah Nean Bruce: Modern Women

Modern Women consider etiquette during dating and beyond. There are taboo topics and misbehaviors that annoy and turn off both women and men.

They don’t want to hear about the “eX” and how much he dislikes her or how she’s poisoned his friends or his kids or his boss or his dog. They think men might badmouth them that way if things don’t work out. They don’t want to hear about how his mother ruined his life, or didn’t care for him or that she loved him too much. Modern Women often equate how a man treats, and speaks about, his mother as an indicator of how he will deal with them.

In the beginning, they don’t want to know how much money a man has lost in the real estate market or the stock market or a business. Or how bad the economy is treating him or how bad business is for him. They don’t want constant mentions of how stressed he is and his fear about a lack of money or paid work, or that he needs to get these clients or gigs or sales. Modern Women are not gold diggers, but they want security as much as men do. Equally, they don’t want men who are gold diggers and looking for Ms. Moneybags to facilitate the guy becoming a kept-man to live the life of Riley and total leisure.

They don’t want men to apologize for living in a small house or condominium or apartment. Nor do they need to hear that they want to get that big house again like the one they had when they were married. They don’t want men to make excuses for their residence, their CB2 furniture, or their work in the home office since they had to shut down their big office.

Conversely, Modern Women don’t want to hear how much money the men have or how many sports cars or SUVs or hybrids they own. They like men who are successful, assertive and self-assured, but they don’t like boasters and show-offs. On the other hand, they definitely don’t want men who are narcissists, posers, interlopers, opportunists, freeloaders, con artists, chico espartos, or couch-surfers.

Many Modern Women date within, or above, their financial class because they want a partner who has the similar goals and aspirations. They have read that an artist and a scientist can both be motivated and enthusiastic about their work and have tons of things in common but they also are realistic that it can be hard when a modern woman is financially more successful than her man because it’s societal, it’s social and it’s psychological. It doesn’t mean that a relationship is impossible, it just means Modern Women recognize paradoxical challenges of the 21st Century.

Modern Women don’t want men to flood over them like a tidal wave of too many communiqu├ęs and too many calls that hint of a quiet desperation to keep them monopolized, attracted and distracted while men evaluate potential or financial portfolios.

They want men to make the dinner plans and know that women won’t change those plans that took time to make. Modern Women enjoy men who will plan and make them dinner, or go to the gourmet food store to gather a dinner. Modern Women want men to know that they appreciate it and will say thank you after that dinner date planned, or made or gathered for them.

Modern Women believe that developing a deep connection takes time. They want to know if they’re physically and intimately compatible with each other and maybe even by the third week, around the third of fourth date, they will explore that. They definitely don’t like men who try to make them feel bad about wanting to use protection (condom) during intimate relations. And they really don’t want to be with men who are sleeping around.

Modern women know that early on there are bonding behaviors that intensify a relationship. They like to enjoy the quixotic ride a bit. They like to have the benefit of that romantic, electrifying bonding period.

1 comment:

Adelaine said...

many thanks for this particular amazing Post. Beneficial subject to dicuss pertaining to about my own Blog. I may placed the bookmark in your website. women like big men