Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Seth Meyers, Clinical Psychologist

Monday, October 13, 2008

Why Sex Is Glue

Every couple has some sort of intimacy, no matter how close or distant each partner is from each other in the relationship. As a couple develops in time together, they begin a unique dance that results from the combination of each member’s personality, needs, and desires. Some of those dances are healthy, while others are a little dysfunctional.

Regardless of the dynamic, every couple has a dance. Some of these dances include sex on a fairly regular basis, while other relationships have skipped on in time and left sex behind. Though some couples can maintain some level of intimacy without sex, their relationship lacks a certain glue. A relationship needs sexual play in order to stay romantically glued together.

Why is sex the ultimate glue? Why is it so important in a romantic relationship? In a nutshell, sex is glue because it is the one that makes your romantic relationship unique from all the other relationships in your life. Giving your partner the sexual part of you sends the message that there is one part of you that you reserve exclusively for him or her. As a result, your partner’s special status in your life is reinforced.

Sexual play can be defined in many ways. It could be as simple as gingerly rubbing someone on the arm while holding deliberate eye contact. For some couples, they need to have penetration or an orgasm in order to feel sexually fulfilled. The bottom line is that sexual play does not have to involve one or two naked bodies, but it must fulfill each person’s definition of what is sexually fulfilling.

If you and your partner have become a couple that has left sex behind, make an effort to redefine the way you look at sex. If you’re older or have been together for many years, it’s okay to be a little more restrained. The best way to bring sexual play back into your love live is to talk to your partner about it or make a simple gesture. Whatever you do, don’t forget that sex is glue.

4 comments:

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